Dark Romance Tropes: Toxic & Dangerous or Okay Fantasy? 1

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Romance is all over Bookstagram and beyond in the past few months. Spicy books have kind of surged back with stores like The Ripped Bodice and others catering to romance readers.

But when you think of romance, a lot of the uninitiated think of bodice ripper books, they may think of the Mills and Boone kind where there’s the rugged man, the damsel in distress and some nooky nooky. That of course still exists, but now there’s a much darker side too.

Dark romance are romance books with a much darker side to them. They can be as gentle as there’s a loving relationship but the MMC is a bike gang member but nothing super dark happens in the book. But they can be as extreme as people being unalived in books while characters get it on. Dark romance tropes include things like:

• Stalker
• Cheating/Infidelity
• Serial Killer
• Non Consent
• Knife Play
• Pregnancy
• Kidnapping
• Somnophilia

Now for the uninitiated, you probably look at this and go “why in all that is good would someone want to read this?” Well, I am no psychologist so I cannot tell you why. But, people do and they eat it up. I’m not here to discuss the reasoning people do – you can’t say it’s Daddy issues, or an abusive family at all. There are plenty of people who grew up in very healthy lives who enjoy or consume these books (I’m one of them). People just like what they like.

What I am here to talk about is what concerns can be. Back in the day when adult videos became readily accessible there were concerns that this may make people more violent and have unrealistic standards. While I don’t have the data to back it up (although there are some articles out there), we have seen adult videos give people unrealistic standards on what a sideways tango should look like, and result in people who watch too much having….physical performance issues.

Dark romance has me asking similar questions. If someone lives on a steady stream of a dark romance diet with really dark themes and going darker and darker, can this blur what is deemed to be healthy?

I would argue that for the average reader where you read other things and sprinkle in some dark romance, it shouldn’t have too big of an impact. But if you have a very constant and steady stream of this, or you are a younger and impressionable reader, then that can really impact you.

Reading a book, even a hard core smut book, isn’t as taboo as maybe watching adult films. I can read the dirtiest book in public and 99.9999% of people would not bat an eye. You can’t do that with adult videos. So the point is, you can read as much of this you want, where ever you want. Too much of a good thing can become a bad thing. Effects of adult videos (not suitable for work link) are known through various studies, but the same studies haven’t been done with books. Who is to say reading too much of this hard core stuff impacts you?

Now, once again, I am not talking about the actual sideways tango in the books. I’m talking about the mix of that and the violence, stalking or otherwise illegal activities that, mixed with the tangoing, can blur the lines. I know I’ve read books with some of the most f-ed up stuff and been like “well you know…I’m okay with it in this context” and have to check myself like woah what? Now imagine all you do is read this all day, or that’s your entry into romance books, or you’ve never had a relationship (healthy or otherwise). You may begin to fantasize about these extreme bad boys so that when someone good comes your way that’s not what you want.

I have no direct data to back any of this up and I’m just expression hypothesis’ and opinions, but we see people falling in love with murderers and serial killers. Women specifically are, usually, a bit more drawn to the bad boy. Now when the bad boy in your books does a lot of crazy stuff, you read it, and it desensitizes you a little bit, that’s when it becomes a concern.

Takeaways/TL;DR

Read your books! Live your fantasies! That is completely healthy. Love your dark romances of a crazy nature, because I know I do. But make sure you take breaks, reset and make sure what you read isn’t bleeding into your real life.

For younger readers, or parents of younger readers, make sure you are checking what your kids are reading. Some of the dirtiest and darkest books have the most unassuming covers! No, don’t be censoring books but books are made for different ages for a reason and a 15 year old should not be reading books like Malevolent King or The Predator. I’ll be delving a little more into covers in another post, but sometimes dark romances have covers and titles that don’t always give it away.

What are your thoughts on this?